


Second Chances

by orphan_account



Category: Fire Emblem Series, Fire Emblem: Kakusei | Fire Emblem: Awakening, 光神話 | Kid Icarus (Video Games)
Genre: F/F, Unresolved Romantic Tension, a little bit of angst
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-03-27
Updated: 2016-04-20
Packaged: 2018-05-29 12:06:20
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 3,056
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6374119
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>A collection of Palutena's letters and Lucina's prayers from the timeskip in "Once More". [Rated T, may go up][Should NOT be read as a stand-alone! You will have no idea what's going on I swear!!!]</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

_Dear Lucy,_

_I've noticed something during my time watching you. You seem to deflect the advances of every man who approaches you. Why is that? Actually, let me rephrase that into a statement: I don't want you to feel any sort of commitment to me. You shouldn't want to, honestly, but I didn't send this letter to throw a pity party. I want to inform you that you're free to do as you like without being shackled to me (gods, I hope you weren't just rejecting those suitors because you had no interest in them, because I would look really stupid)._

_May I ask if you carry an interest in women, too? I had no information on that before you came to Skyworld._

_-P_

* * *

Lucina sat down in the center of what she (and some others, she had heard) came to recognize as "her" clearing. She had come here so much to pray to Palutena that people had seen her several times, but never followed for fear of a tongue-lashing or worse. The location had to change after the kids were returned to their timeline, but her tradition didn't.

In the beginning, Lucina was afraid that Palutena wouldn't listen to her when she spoke, or just would be busy, so they made a set time at which Lucina would go to the clearing and pray: just before the clock strikes twelve on Friday evenings. Sometimes Lucina would murmur to herself anyway, wondering if Palutena would, by the grace of the gods (literally), hear her.

After a while, Palutena informed her that she didn't have to always be so formal as to kneel, so Lucina had taken to sitting down cross-legged and starting her one-sided conversation. "Alright," Lucina sighed. "First of all, I can't believe you said that I shouldn't feel a commitment to you. Of course I should. You're pretty much all I think about. Being away from you makes it worse, I think. 'Shackled' isn't the word for it. I don't feel stuck to you as if I'm some prisoner, but rather, stuck to you because I want to be."

Lucina drummed her fingers in the dirt as she considered her next words. "I rejected those men because I had no interest in them, yes...but even if I could have scrambled together some feeling to keep towards them that resembled affection, it could never mirror or surpass what I feel for you. And back to that whole commitment thing, why shouldn't I feel a commitment to you? I _love_ you. I know our history isn't all sunshine and rainbows, but through all of that, I still found a way to love you. Many ways. Many reasons. Please...don't ever say things like that again to me in a letter, okay? I want your letters to make me smile, but seeing this makes me worried about you. Do you love yourself as much as I love you?"

Looking at the letter one more time to steel herself for the last question, Lucina cleared her throat. "Yes. I do. If you're wondering, I've had to turn down some females, too. Just some village girls. Even before I came to Skyworld, I knew there was something...off, almost, about how I felt towards women. Nothing's off, though, is it? No. I don't think so." Clearing her throat again, Lucina said, "I'm sorry if I sounded a bit more abrasive than usual, I...I just don't want you to second guess what we have, or second guess my feelings. I love you! Don't ever doubt that!"

Quickly wiping a tear from her eyes, Lucina stood; she didn't want Palutena to see her cry. "Uh, g-good night..."


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i've been forgetting to update this on here 
> 
> dam

_Dear Lucina,_

_Do I love myself as much as you love me? That's a good question. I wish I had an answer for you. Is love something that can be measured, anyway? Something for me to look into._

_I didn't tell Pit how often we were corresponding at first, because I thought he would harass me endlessly to get a message through to you. Then I was like, "That's not fair, he deserves to know". Then I realized, I was right, and he will never shut up about everything he wants me to tell you. He rattled off a list of things he wanted me to say to you, with most of them revolving around how much he beats me at chess._

_Chess, chess, chess, that's all he wants to do. Sometimes he'll get a little frustrated because I'm not a worthy opponent, and he wants to train so that he can finally beat you if/when you come back. I'm more of a checkers girl, myself. It's like, every time I move one of my stupid horse thingies, he'll swoop right in and steal my queen! And it's not like I dislike the game because I lose...it's just too complicated. So many pieces to know. Checkers, however, is simple and casual. Chess is stressful. I think I might pop a blood vessel if we play again._

_Other than that, I won't hesitate to inform you that most of the stuff he wanted you to know was pretty useless. He asked me to tell you that my cooking has gotten better, which, I didn't think it could. I like my cooking, if it counts for anything (if I found out you too have been conspiring against me this whole time...!). Oh, he also wanted me to let you know that he dusts your room every day. I told him that if I knew you were coming, I would let him know, but he insisted on going in and making sure everything is in tip-top shape every day. It sucks to watch, because I know you were his only real friend. He misses you so much, Lucy. I just wish he would make other friends, too._

_-P_

* * *

"Tell him I'm flattered," Lucina said, taking a seat and not bothering to greet her goddess. "Tell him I'm flattered, but I really want him to try and make friends with some Centurions, or other angels. I know he's close to you, as well, though. I think he's a trooper. He'll brave through it...but I wanted to talk about you, for a second. You plowed right past my question. I'm sure you've heard the term 'low self-esteem' before, but that's not what describes you. It's something else. More like...self-hatred."

Lucina hugged her knees to her chest and sighed roughly. "You're phenomenal...you're phenomenal, you're an amazing woman. You're just the product of some wrong choices and some unfathomable circumstances. And, gods, what do you mean _if_ I come back? I'm coming back! I'm coming back to you..."

Shaking the bangs out of her eyes, Lucina blew some air into her cheeks and let the silence take over for a second. Maybe she should take better care of her hair, she was thinking. What if Palutena could see the bird's nest she had on top of her head? She shook herself out of her trance.

Then she whispered, just loud enough for herself (and hopefully Palutena) to hear, "Nature reminds me of you. Maybe because of all the soft, comforting greens...or maybe because of its swiftness, beauty, and brutality. Oh, how nature can be brutal. And yet, I need it to survive. It's all I've ever needed, even when I didn't know that I did."

Lucina laid back and let the plush grass tickle her back, her neck. She stared into the heavens, wondering if Palutena was looking her in the eye.


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> so here's two updates

_Dear Lucina,_

_Why do you always shift the conversation to me? Usually, I'd shift it right back to something else, but I found what you said rather interesting, so I have a question. Do you think nature needs you, too? Humans overall, actually._

_A wildfire starts, one that's out of the humans' control, out of nature's control. And who rushes in to try and stop it, although everything might still burn? The humans. Animals are dying, going extinct. Who might try and protect them even if their death is inevitable? The humans. The humans may know nature is, overall, more powerful than they are, but nature is still weak. Nature does not have all of the answers, and it doesn't have any means of defending itself, because it doesn't really understand what's wrong._

_But humans rush in to help nature, because they need nature to survive. Humans want something from nature, which is the only reason why they help, even if they know nature is on a crash course to destruction. The relationship between nature and humans is, in my opinion, confusing and alarmingly altruistic._

_All that being said, congrats on your brother having a baby. How's being an aunt treating you?_

_-P_

* * *

"You're a tricky one, you know that? Always running circles around me," Lucina drawled, her elbows on her knees and her chin in her hands. "Let me get this straight: you think that I care about you and worry about you because I need something from you? That's not exactly true. But maybe it is, because I do desperately need your love. But even if I couldn't have it, guess what? I'd still want you to be okay."

Now, Lucina couldn't stop looking at the trees and thinking of their little allegory, humming in thought. Palutena was all around her, as always. Surrounding her. Trapping her? _Not anymore, I don't think_ , Lucina pondered. After a minute or two of silence, she said, " _Everything_ that _anybody_ does, and I know this is a broad stroke, is based off of need or want. Let's say that the humans' motives _were_ altruistic, that they didn't save nature simply because of the berries and things, but because nature was dying and they just didn't want to see something die. You see that, what I just said? They _didn't want_ nature to die. It was based off of their want, or lack thereof. Saying that humans save nature because they want something from it is redundant. You eat because you need food. You brush your hair because you want to look nice. You make friends because you want to be happy. Humans save nature because they _want it to be okay_."

Lucina exhaled sharply, trying to contain her temper. Palutena was losing herself in guilt and it scared Lucina to the point of frustration. Finally, she concluded, "Humans don't have to save nature because they need or want something from nature. Why can't it just be that humans desire nature's presence, as an addition to the wonderful things they already have? Why can't humans simply desire nature to be happy and safe?"

The bluenette had left the letter back at the castle; she almost forgot about the last question, before she quickly reminded herself. She uprooted blades of grass and snorted, "Morgan...I'm sure he'd give his thanks, if he knew you existed." _I wonder if that comment offended her..._ "It's not too shabby. The baby's not much of a crier. Sometimes it seems like babies cry for no reason, but Caeldori isn't like that. If she cries, we know she's hungry or her diaper needs to be changed or she's about to nap. No mystery to her. It kind of sucks, though. Everyone in the castle has baby fever now, and the pressure's on me for real, now. At first it was just a passive thing, but now I can't turn a damn corner without being asked about suitors. Tiki wards them off pretty well, though...suitors _and_ people who harass me about it. So, there's that."

Lucina shut her eyes and tried to _feel_ Palutena, tried to feel her eyes. She couldn't. Opening her eyes again, she said, "But don't you worry. I'm with you, Palutena. Only with you."

Lucina truly didn't have any other way to say it.


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i keep forgetting to update this story on here fffffffff

_Lucina:_

_I'd like to put our discussion on nature to the side for a second, so we can talk about something very serious. I'm concerned about your opinion on this whole baby thing. Lucina, I don't expect you to consider me your girlfriend or your partner or your lover. I'm in Skyworld, and you're in Ylisse. As we are, we're on completely different planes, completely different levels...are you truly with me, if we're like this?_

_I don't mean to say this as a break-up speech or some declaration of separation. It's not that at all. I'm in Skyworld, and I've shut myself off from the other gods and goddesses on my own accord...all I have (physically with me, that is) is Pit and my Centurions, and, now (just a little), Naga. I'm content with my pseudo-solitude and it makes me happy._

_You, however, are surrounded by people, people who love you and care for you and would likely die for you. Would I do the same? Yes. But they're there, and I'm not. It's true that you are the only person in my sights, the only person I will ever love in such a manner...but then again, you're all I have. It's different for you. You have so many options, so many people who are willing to love you if you'd just love them back._

_It would be so selfish of me to assume you wouldn't want to. Doesn't it get lonely? I watch you spar with your friends and have tea and all, but don't you feel...empty, somehow? I get to see you every day with my divine powers, but can you even remember my face? I know that you're in love with me, because you said you are, and I believe you. But it wouldn't be fair for me to hold some expectation for you to consider us exclusive under these circumstances._

_Perhaps the notion escaped me completely, but in your words, I heard no direct opposition to having a child of your own. Lucina, if you wanted to, I would have nothing but prayers and hopes for you, your child, and your husband. I would be happy to see you happy! What_ _would upset me, however, is you holding back any feelings you might have towards any man (or woman) on Earth. Bonds like the one you say you have with me (and again, I don't doubt your feelings) are hard to keep when we're so far away..._

_I want you to be happy, Lucina. I don't want to keep you from that. I've already done that so much, and the thought of doing it again disgusts me. Please, just answer me directly: is having a baby something you want to do? Do you love someone else, as much or even more than me? All I would ask is that you let me know, tell me. I won't be angry or even sad. I'd be just as excited as you._

_What about that boy Laurent? I've seen the way he looks at you...do you like him as well? I do recall you two being particularly close to each other. And he's such a nice boy, too...very intelligent, from what I've seen. What do you think?_

_Love,_

_Palutena_

* * *

"'Love, Palutena'. That's new. Or maybe you have signed off like that, a while ago, and I forgot." Lucina stared at the letter, trying to comprehend the words that were strewn across the paper. "Where do I even start with this, Palutena? Gods...listen, Laurent and I are friends. I don't even know if he's interested in me like that, but if he is...well, that's too bad for him. Too bad for everyone who has some interest in me."

Lucina took a couple of deep breaths; she found herself getting frustrated with Palutena so easily. They were in an unusual situation, and they had to do the best they could, but Lucina was having a bit of a hard time coping with the mechanics of their relationship. "You say you don't doubt my feelings, but it sounds like you're lying. It makes me _angry_. I don't want anybody else! I don't want a baby, I don't want a husband or a boyfriend or a lover...I'm fine just how I am! Why can't you accept that?"

All of a sudden, Lucina felt bad. This wasn't any doubt that Palutena was having in her, but rather, doubt that the goddess was having in herself. Lucina rubbed her face hard, holding back tears. Once again, a whirlwind of emotions took over. She was just so confused. She didn't know what to do. "I have to apologize...for being like this...it just sounds to me like you're not sure of my feelings for you, and that makes me feel like you're not sure of your feelings for me. That scares me. Palutena, I love you. I miss you. Do you know how many times I wished I was _dead_ so that I could see you again? Almost every day...I wonder what it would be like to see you again...but I keep going to honor your wishes, knowing that I'll see you again. Until then, I'll hold fast. I don't even need to try. Looking at some man or woman, it just doesn't send shivers of happiness up my spine like it does when I see you...even when I think of your face, which, for your information, I remember every inch of. Sometimes I think of you and...it hurts. I feel pain because I miss you so much. I'm not kidding, it _hurts_ , I'll get so frustrated and angry that you're not here that I'll give myself a migraine, or my stomach will ache."

Lucina considered the aspects of Palutena's letter again, and one phrase stuck in her mind the most... _pseudo-solitude_. "Do you truly feel alone, Palutena? I'm sorry. I don't know if it's anything I could have prevented, but I'm so, so, sorry. But then again, I'm surrounded by people who love me, you're right, but it's never enough, because they're not you. Nobody _gets_ me like you do, nobody's seen me at my very worst, nobody's _seen_ me-well, of course they've seen me, but...I know it sounds like nonsense. I'm really tired...I've felt a little strained, lately, honestly. I need to get some rest..."

Lucina stood on shaky feet.


End file.
